When I was pregnant with my son, Sze Ka, my dream was that he would be smarter than my husband. When he was one year and three months old, I resigned from my job and stayed home to take care of him. I discovered that he was with special needs. When he was two years old, the test results came out that he had autistic tendency and was hyperactive. I suffered from insomnia. I slept for one to two hours and then cried through the night for years. It took the energy to look after ten normal kids to care for him. He would not quiet down for a minute. How much tears do I have to shed? How could I endure seasons after seasons? I collapsed both emotionally and physically and was suicidal throughout those years.
Upon immigration to Canada, I read an article that there must be a Creator for this immense universe. I started going to church. Later I heard a message on Ecclesiastes from Dr. Thomas Leung and I read it many times. The explanation in this book of the Bible about life is so true, far better than any of the philosophical books I have ever read. I began to search for the true meaning of life, read the Bible and pray.
One night I was very sad and depressed about my son’s behaviors. I opened the curtain in my bedroom and prayed, “Oh God! My son is an autistic kid. He cannot communicate with us. It is very hard to teach him. I feel very painful in my heart! People in the world do not acknowledge you. Are you as heart broken as I am? I heard God answer me. “Yes, I am!”
I read the Bible and it taught me that there was no need to worry about tomorrow, just do our best for today and it will be fine. Children are the inheritance that God has given to parents, who are like stewards. We just have to try our best to help our child. The fears that no one would take care of him after we died was gone. I began to sleep for three hours, four hours and eventually up to eight to ten hours each night. I am more relaxed now when I can sleep more. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” From a very unhappy person, I have gradually found peace and joy in Jesus! Praise the Lord!
When I received my Diploma for High School completion in Canada, I was still a part-time bank teller. I prayed to God for many nights for a full time job. Then I heard God telling me, “I have a job for you. You do not have to look for it any more!” I heard this for many nights and thought that it was my imagination. So I prayed to God, “If it is you, please show me!” It felt like electricity going through my body. I was doubtful and asked again, “I am not sure, if it is you Lord, please show me again!” I felt the same electrical shock going through my body, just like what happened when I put my little finger into the electricity socket when I was small. When I woke up, I told my husband. He said, “You have been running around to look for a job for many days already. You better stop and get some rest.”
Later I got an interview at a bank. After a few days, they called me for a second interview. I thought, “If I got $18,000 per year as a teller, I will be very satisfied.” A few days later, the personnel manager of the bank phoned me. She said they would hire me in the Safe Deposit Box Department. It was four thousand dollars a year more than the salary of a teller and was a more senior position. So I happily started to work there.
As I had to take care of my son and my health had not been good , I felt very tired at work. But I still tried my best. After working for six months, I heard from God again when I prayed to him at midnight, “You will get a promotion!” The next morning when I woke up, I told my husband about this and said, “Promotion? It will be great if I can pass my probation and do not get fired.” But half a year later, my supervisor told me, “There is no need for you to stay in the Safe Deposit Box Department, you are promoted to a more senior position.” After discussing about this with my husband, I decided to accept the offer with a raise of a few thousand dollars more.
As the new position required a lot of over-time work till 7:30 pm, it kept me very busy and stressful. My husband asked me not to stay over-time. It is very difficult for me to do so as there was really a lot of work to finish. I found his request to be a bit unusual. Then I realized my husband got Leukemia. We hugged and cried as if our marriage would end soon. Over ten times I prayed to God and said, “Lord, you know I am not able to bring up my son alone. I am a person with quick temper”. Finally I heard God said, “You asked and I will give you!” The voice was very loud as if it was coming from heaven and echoed in my ears for many times. I woke up and told my husband again.
The doctor planned to have bone marrow transplant for my husband, Lemuel, and asked for tissue matching among his siblings. His older brother, Marcus, and younger sister, Ophelia, were in Canada, and both of them were a match. I was thankful that my Mother-in-law have six children and thought all of them must match that for Lemuel. But actually his three siblings in Hong Kong and America were not a match.
Before the transplant, Dr. Lipton at Princess Margaret Hospital said both brothers were still young with good health; the success rate should be fairly high. I was a very nervous and worrisome person but after hearing this remark, I was full of hope and enthusiasm. Praise God that in spite of the difficult and windy road, eleven years had passed by, and the situation is improving. Even Lemuel is weaker after the transplant, at least his life was saved.
I learned in Job 1:21 that: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” I do not care that much about success or failure now, but have gained the joy and peace in my heart. My son has also kept improving in his condition.