I was born into a Christian household, but unfortunately I wasn’t raised in a very Christian-friendly city: Hong Kong. I was often ridiculed when I brought up anything faith related, and this was especially bad in my teenage years. A couple of my friends were “free thinkers” armed to the teeth with anti-Christian rhetoric (pulled off Google, of course) and would challenge me whenever possible. Eventually, in fear of more confrontations, I became very reserved and doubtful of my faith, and often opted to hide it rather than defend it.
This fear stayed with me for a very, very long time. My family eventually moved to Canada in 2007, and I’ve noticed that people were much more open about their faith here. Despite that, I still had immense problems admitting to people I went to church. The fear had already been drilled into me. My faith was not particularly real or strong, and I never felt comfortable enough to talk about it.
Things changed in 2008. It was a sunny Friday in late spring, school was done for the week, and my friends and I had big plans for the afternoon. We didn’t get very far though. As we were crossing Warden Avenue, a friend suddenly dipped out of my sight. Turning around to see what was happening, I witnessed a car trampling on her. I still don’t have words to describe how I felt as the accident unfolded or its aftermath, but “useless” would be close.
As the paramedics loaded her onto the ambulance and took her away, I sat on the curb and decided there was one last thing I could do. I put everything into a very, very simple prayer. I said to God, “If you save her, I will follow you forever.” I opened my eyes, but I didn’t feel any better. In fact, I felt a hundred times worse. I realized how pathetic I was to turn to God only when I felt useless and even had the audacity to use my insignificant self as a bargaining chip. How could I spend all my life hiding with my back turned, and only now did I dare turn to face him? How shameful.
But it was precisely at this moment of emotional rock bottom that I felt God reaching out and comforting me. He reminded me that He is a God of love and mercy. My sins have already been paid for and I only need to take up the cross and follow him. Even though I’ve been a “Christian” all my life, it was only then that it really struck me how amazing Jesus’s sacrifice truly was. This was the moment I finally understood and felt God’s love and what it actually meant to us sinners. I felt the urgency to follow him and a determination sparked inside me.
This marked Day 1 of my following Christ. It was by no means a smooth journey. I’ve experienced amazing highs but also crushing lows. I’ve overcome many obstacles but I’ve also been brought down often. This walk was never meant to be easy and my faith will always be tested and bent, but having known Christ I know it will never break. I have devoted my life to Him, and I will always proclaim His love and kindness with confidence, the same love and kindness he showed me on that sunny Friday.
I believe in Jesus because He died for our sins so we may find salvation.